So in a blur of life I never got to share about last week's study, and honestly the reading from last week and this week have begun to blur in my mind...
But I'd like to share what God has been teaching me in general.
*We're afraid of praying "I'll do Anything." But the thing is... we are specks tossed by the waves anyway. Anything could happen to us anyway. God's hands are the safest place to be.
*I really related to what I think was chapter 3- I have lived all of my life desperate to please others, and let it rob me of my adventures with God. But what can mere mortals do to me? Really? Isn't life just a minuscule blip on the spectrum of eternity? They can hurt me once-- I'll live in God's happy kingdom forever.
*He is my soul's husband, and it is His approval and the peace I find in His arms that matters more than what anyone else thinks.
*I also really loved from this week's mention of Narnia in the reading. (I know, I'm getting ahead of myself but..) these books have always drawn me into the adventure of God's Kingdom like no other. As Jennie acknowledges, Lucy is largely the heroine in these stories. Why? The only thing spectacular about her is spectacular trust, hope, and belief.
*I am learning that He really is big enough for our questions! I've been asking some hard ones this week. I know this was really on Lauren's heart too-- what you shared made me cry because it was very familiar to me. But I think the whole reason I am a Christian today is because I asked God some very bold questions a few years back- like "Just show me you exist!" At that time in my life he brought me some amazing signs and books like The Case for Christ. (The Kindle Edition is 2.99 right now for anyone who wants to be faced with the amazing evidence for how very real our God is. A book written by a skeptic who set out to disprove the Bible-- and found he could not. It was powerful in leading some kids at my school to salvation.)
*Last week's challenge also taught me some pretty amazing things. Every time I was tempted to worry I prayed that God would saturate every area of my life instead. He made some amazing things happen-- like providing money out of nowhere. And I was reminded that in the middle of all my Martha-like worry, only one things matters.
Then, I thought I'd leave you with this slightly off topic short story I found in my inbox today. Maybe what we're grasping so desperately for is so much closer than we ever would have believed...
Love and blessings abound!
-Rachel
1 comment:
Aww, I'm sorry it made you cry! I hesitated before I shared last time, but I decided to stick with what has been laid on my heart, which is to be as real as I can possibly be. So, real you got! I had never (besides to one very amazing friend/mentor)voiced that doubt before, because most people I know whould judge it, but I'm glad I did and that I'm not alone in my doubts! It is as if, intellectually (I have listened to so many evolutionary and creationary lectures it makes my head spin), I /know/ that He must exist, but there is something that keeps whispering doubts into my ear. I know it is the enemy, I'm just not sure how to get rid of him.
Lat week really showed me that my security is most certainly /not/ in Him. I am the kind of kid who has had 10, 20, 30 and 40 year plans sketched out since I was about 8-10 years old. Yes, I was strange ;) I've known what I wanted to do, when I wanted to do it, and what I had to do to accomplish it. My security lies within my plans. I even have budget plans set up so that I will be able to put aside enough money each month to be a deep cushion in case something should happen and I need to survive jobless for a few months-year. Now, these budgets (I haven't even graduated and I am already concerned about these things...see what I mean about how I don't trust God?) also have it worked in that I can donate double what I am saving, but still. My trust is in myself, into how /I/ can prepare for worst case scenario. Now, that isn't to say that it is wrong to have a cushion, but it /is/ wrong to make THAT your security, rather than Christ. He will most likely take it away if you start to depend upon it too much, just ask my parents. They lost almost everything a couple of years ago because they had started to rely on job security, and until they understood what the problem was they continued to lose everything. I guess what I am getting at, is this week really hit home, as did the week before. God just keeps showing me what's going on inside this little ol' heart of mine :)
Love,
Lauren
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