tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6268263892362487544.post2034873982218265369..comments2013-08-06T17:51:20.563-06:00Comments on Rachel Danielle: Bible Study... Last Week. And a lovely short story. Rachel Daniellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09163853419493407888noreply@blogger.comBlogger1125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6268263892362487544.post-14682561868398508572013-06-19T22:05:58.243-06:002013-06-19T22:05:58.243-06:00Aww, I'm sorry it made you cry! I hesitated b...Aww, I'm sorry it made you cry! I hesitated before I shared last time, but I decided to stick with what has been laid on my heart, which is to be as real as I can possibly be. So, real you got! I had never (besides to one very amazing friend/mentor)voiced that doubt before, because most people I know whould judge it, but I'm glad I did and that I'm not alone in my doubts! It is as if, intellectually (I have listened to so many evolutionary and creationary lectures it makes my head spin), I /know/ that He must exist, but there is something that keeps whispering doubts into my ear. I know it is the enemy, I'm just not sure how to get rid of him.<br /><br />Lat week really showed me that my security is most certainly /not/ in Him. I am the kind of kid who has had 10, 20, 30 and 40 year plans sketched out since I was about 8-10 years old. Yes, I was strange ;) I've known what I wanted to do, when I wanted to do it, and what I had to do to accomplish it. My security lies within my plans. I even have budget plans set up so that I will be able to put aside enough money each month to be a deep cushion in case something should happen and I need to survive jobless for a few months-year. Now, these budgets (I haven't even graduated and I am already concerned about these things...see what I mean about how I don't trust God?) also have it worked in that I can donate double what I am saving, but still. My trust is in myself, into how /I/ can prepare for worst case scenario. Now, that isn't to say that it is wrong to have a cushion, but it /is/ wrong to make THAT your security, rather than Christ. He will most likely take it away if you start to depend upon it too much, just ask my parents. They lost almost everything a couple of years ago because they had started to rely on job security, and until they understood what the problem was they continued to lose everything. I guess what I am getting at, is this week really hit home, as did the week before. God just keeps showing me what's going on inside this little ol' heart of mine :)<br /><br />Love,<br />LaurenAnonymousnoreply@blogger.com